One of my fellow bloggers [Amy's blog] recently wrote a post on parenting styles. Amy is one of my quintessential attachment parenting internet friends - she introduced me to cloth diapers, midwives, home birthing, slings and co-sleeping. Without her views, I would have been a bit different parent. I appreciate her approaches - mightn't have adopted them all - but appreciated them none the less. HOwever, the post created a bit of a stir, mainly through misinterpretation, and made me think.
With my need to research, I have become a much bigger supporter of breastfeeding. I cannot imagine something more appropriate for a mother-child relationship than initiating and maintaining a breastfeeding relationship. Remember, I never said it was easy - I am still surprised, even after four babies, how difficult breastfeeding is for me and my babes at the beginning. Without perseverence, a few swear words and more tears, I barely survive the first 4-6 weeks, but now we reap the benefits. Nevertheless, the advantages of breastfeeding for the babe are practically endless. [The reasons not to breastfeed are rather limited but I do recognize, exist.] So, I would now solidly be in the camp of it is the right of the babe to breastfeed. Above and beyond that, the benefits for the mother, short and long-term, are also numerous. Lower incidents of breast cancer (not always though) and weight loss (and thus, the lead on decrease in heart disease) should make it as big a responsibility for mom as the right to breastfeed for babe. So - I have become a bit stubborn in my old age. A healthy mom and a healthy babe are critical - breastfeeding is a great start.
But, other than that, parenting styles, I firmly believe, have little to do with the development of a happy & healthy child. The bigger picture is so much more important whether your baby co-slept, wore sposies, spent too much time in a car seat or was slung (is that the right word?). I am in the camp that a happy, stress free home with lots of love & hugs, fun, structure, discipline, respect for all family members, exercise and a lot more fun are much much more important than the simple concepts of attachment parenting or the offensive term, mainstream parenting. I don't think it matters if you are a married couple, divorced, single, same-sex, blended family, or whatever other concept is now commonplace. Or, how about stay-at-home, work-at-home or working moms - quality is better than quantiy. A well-loved, happy and engaged child is all that really counts.
If co-sleeping makes mom happy, co-sleep; if wearing your baby is better for you, buy the coolest carriers going (which there are a lot of cool carriers), if cloth diapers float your boat (and save the environment), good for you. If not, a crib, a car seat, and disposable diapers work really really well too!
Almost forgot - a mom having fun is probably the most important part - parenting, or better yet, mothering isn't always easy, so having fun is key.
Might as well put my words to practice, off to have fun with the Deckle-buster who has yet again stolen the pieces from the Avent calendar.
3 comments:
I like this post. Very true. It's the love that counts!
Although I wasn't so excited about it, I nursed all 3 of my kids. Incidentally, I had a lot of clogged ducts with my last one...at the exact same spot where my tumor was found. I don't think the nursing caused the cancer, but I do wonder if the cancer had started there and that's what was causing the blocked milk ducts. Seems like a research option!
I largely agree with your whole post. Oddly, I think with my first, I was a bit militant about attachment parenting and was (secretly, I hope) quite critical of other styles. Now, with #2 here, I am much more relaxed and open to other ideas and styles. I think I am still 99% attachment parenting him, but only because that's what my instincts seem to tell me to do, rather than some book or study, or whatever. I think I've become a fan of the Whatever Works style of parenting now. So for me, cosleeping, cloth and slings work. That being said, Cameron is asleep in his car seat in the living room right now, after having his four (and a half!) month shots this morning!! And I am feeding Andrew fish sticks and Smiles for lunch. So you see, I am a blend of styles. :)
Just wanted to add - I am still rather militant about breastfeeding - nodding in agreement with you on that one. Sometimes I have to talk myself down when I see a newborn being fed a bottle of formula. Just makes me sad, but it's not fair - I don't know that mother's situation. I just hope there's a truly valid reason, that's all. Hope I don't get flamed for this, but there it is.
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