The twinkling star

I always wondered how you knew you were done having babies. I asked other mothers how they knew and they simply provided the wise response, 'you will know'. I remember after Deckie was born that I knew I wasn't done. Three wonderful kiddos, while a tremendous gift and privilege, just didn't seem to complete the picture. I knew there had to be on last little star.

While this pregnancy was far from planned, well an utter shock - a positive home pregnancy test 10 days after going back to work type of shock, I have always embraced it. As we get closer to my due date, now 17 days, I am excited about having my fourth little one. Terrified at the prospect of dealing with a newborn and Deckie, but excited about a complete family.

I know, however, I will miss being pregnant. Being pregnant is very easy for me - I am low-risk, I don't put on much weight (one of the girls at work says I 'lose' weight while pregnant), I don't lose much mobility, my back doesn't hurt and my legs don't swell. I will admit I have a hard time crawling under the kid's table to pick up scraps of food! Bending down to pick-up laundry or put on Deckie's new Crocs are also difficult tasks!

I will miss the big belly. I love to rub my belly. I have also become much more of an exhibitionist with each pregnancy. I now intentional pull up my t-shirts and walk around with my big o'belly just hanging out (at home only)! I even wear low-cut jeans and high riding t-shirts.

I will miss the feeling of the baby's kicks or catching the elusive elbow as it flashes by a side. I will also miss the energy spurt each night as I climb into bed and babe decides it is playtime! The rolls and the kicks are something so personal to me - I can't share the feeling with anyone, it is all mine.

I don't need this baby to come anytime soon. My goal of Father's Day, set very early on in this pregnancy, seems perfectly acceptable - just past my due date. I want to be pregnant for just a little bit longer, I don't want to wish away these last few glorious days of bigness!