I was a bit grump this morning. I went to work quite early - left the house just past 6:15 for a call with the team in Hong Kong. I felt a bit sorry for myself being up so early, so tired and knowing I wouldn't be home until 'late' this evening. I miss my kids. I feel guilty that I am so bloody tired when I get home I don't have the energy to participate in too many games. I barely get the niceties across about their day (Kate made pumpkin bread at camp but camp home early because she wasn't feeling well; Declan cried on the way to sportball camp but enjoyed it once he arrived; Andrew liked playing football if my memory is correct and gosh darn was incredibly handsome when I brushed his teeth tonight; and, finally, Seanie was just happy about it all, showed off his tremendous train track building skills and appreciated being cuddled before I put him to bed.) Guilty that I just want to crawl into a quiet dark hole (perhaps with a good glass of wine).
However, I, of course, checked in on a few blogs. One blog belongs to a cyclist husband of a very ill wife - breast cancer metastasized to the brain. He is caring for his wife and I believe four children. He is co-ordinating her home care with the hospice doctors. He manages her meds and frets how to keep his wife here and now, but without letting the pain overwhelm her days. This story won't have a fairy tale ending.
I follow the story - partly in curiosity - but also in simple realization that the plight that family faces could easily be my life. I or my husband could be seriously ill, or heaven forbid one of our children. Despite the rough day at work, the long hours, the exhaustion, the crappy summer weather, my progressing unilateral hearing loss or any other issue that might rock my world, I am an incredibly happy and healthy person, my family is incredibly healthy and happy. I have no reason but to be incredibly grateful for everything I have in this life.
Regardless, I am exhausted, bone tired and am leaving this screen for bed.
1 comment:
You have a lovely and very humorous attitude towards life Ann. I think you are managing very well with the kids and work and your health challenges and everything. No wonder you sometimes feel tired and overwhelmed. Give yourself a little pat on the back and a big hug from me!
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